Frequently asked questions.

It is a Catholic marriage formation ministry with one aim: to help couples enter marriage understanding what they are consenting to, so that far fewer marriages ever need a tribunal.

Everything here grows out of years of service on the marriage tribunal of Enugu, and it is built around the Five Pillars of Valid Consent. The material is arranged by life stage, from a child's home all the way to mentoring other couples.

No. Some of the most important formation happens long before an engagement. The site is arranged by life stage, childhood and family, youth, engagement, marriage preparation, the early married years, and mentoring, so parents, young people, married couples, and those who guide them each have a place to begin.

The teaching is rooted in Catholic doctrine and Canon Law, and the sacramental and canonical parts are Catholic through and through. But the deeper principles behind valid consent, that it be clear, free, capable, whole-hearted, and united, speak to any couple hoping for a marriage that lasts.

Because the knowledge itself should not sit behind a paywall. Years on the tribunal show the same thing again and again: marriages fail not because couples lacked willingness, but because no one ever taught them what valid consent requires. That knowledge belongs to every couple who needs it.

Gladly. The Diagnostic and the articles are meant to sit alongside your existing Pre-Cana or preparation, not to replace them. For parish use or partnership, please reach out through the contact page.

Yes, completely. It is a short self-assessment, about twenty questions, that takes roughly five minutes. It is built on the same Canon Law framework used in real tribunal work, because every couple deserves to know where they stand before the wedding day.

Your readiness across the five pillars of valid consent: Clarity, whether you understand what marriage is; Freedom, whether you are marrying freely; Capacity, whether you are able to carry what marriage asks; Intention, whether you intend a faithful, permanent, and life-open union; and Unity, whether you are truly building one shared life.

It shows you where you are strong, and where a conversation is overdue.

That is one of the most useful things it can do. It means you now know where the gaps are while there is still time to address them, rather than discovering them years later. Nearly everyone who reaches a tribunal believed, on the wedding day, that they were ready. Better to test that belief now.

The Diagnostic asks for no name and no email, and it is not a form you fill in and send off. You answer the questions in your browser and see your result there, so you can take it as privately, and as honestly, as you wish.

Either works. Taking it separately first and then comparing is often the most revealing, because it surfaces the places where the two of you quietly assumed different things. Taking it together, as a conversation, is valuable too. What matters is honesty.

A compatibility quiz measures personality and communication style, whether you are a good match. The Diagnostic asks something deeper: whether the conditions the Church requires for valid consent are actually present. It is not asking whether you get along. It is asking whether you both understand, and truly intend, what you are about to promise.

They are the five things that must be present for marriage consent to be true and binding. Clarity: both understand what Catholic marriage actually is. Freedom: both consent without pressure, fear, or coercion. Capacity: both are able to assume and carry the obligations of marriage. Intention: both intend the marriage the Church offers, faithful for life and open to children, with nothing held back. Unity: both are genuinely building one shared life.

When one of these is missing or defective at the wedding, the validity of the marriage itself can come into question. These are the elements a tribunal weighs in every case.

Pre-Cana usually teaches skills: communication, money, conflict, and sometimes Natural Family Planning. Those matter. But skills are not the five pillars. A couple can communicate beautifully and still not grasp permanence, or manage money well while carrying an unspoken disagreement about children.

The Five Pillars address what actually makes consent valid. They are meant to deepen Pre-Cana, not replace it. You can read more in this article.

The five elements are not new. They are drawn from Canon Law and the Church's long understanding of matrimonial consent. What this ministry has done is gather them into a plain, usable framework a couple can apply to themselves before the wedding, rather than have them weighed by a tribunal long after.

The Marriage Readiness Diagnostic, free and needing no email; a growing library of articles on marriage, Canon Law, and family life; and the six life-stage guides. A book is on the way, and further resources are in preparation.

Yes. Before You Say I Do at the Altar is a marriage preparation manual for engaged Catholics, drawn from years on the tribunal. It is not yet released. You can join the waitlist to receive the free opening chapter today, and word the moment it is published.

For the Diagnostic and the articles, no. For the book waitlist, yes, so the free chapter and release news can reach you. You can unsubscribe at any time.

No, and it matters why. A marriage case belongs to the tribunal of your own diocese, and it would be wrong for me to advise on a matter under another tribunal's care. If you are seeking an annulment, contact the marriage tribunal of your diocese directly. This site is for formation, not for case advice.

Do not wait, and do not carry it alone. A trusted priest, or a good Catholic counsellor, is the right help, and far more use than any website. If there is any danger to you or your children, seek safety first.