Frequently Asked Questions

Catholic Marriage Life is a formation ministry dedicated to preventing the marriages that end up in the tribunal. Every resource on this site, free and paid, is grounded in 18 years of tribunal research across 150+ dioceses and 1,847 marriage cases. The ministry provides diagnostic tools, workbooks, guides, a formation course, and consultation services for Catholic couples at every stage of life, from childhood through mature marriage.

Because the knowledge itself should be accessible to every Catholic couple in the world. Eighteen years of tribunal work have shown, again and again, that marriages fail because nobody taught couples what valid consent requires. Putting that knowledge behind a paywall would be a disservice to the very people this ministry exists to serve.

The free resources contain the actual frameworks. The paid offerings provide guided implementation, personal feedback, and structured accountability for those who want deeper formation. This is deliberate. Access to the knowledge should never depend on ability to pay.

While the resources are rooted in Catholic teaching and Canon Law, the principles of freedom, understanding, permanence, fidelity, and openness apply to any couple seeking a lifelong marriage. Many non-Catholics have found the resources helpful. However, the tribunal-specific guidance, sacramental preparation content, and canonical consultation services are specifically Catholic in nature.

No. In fact, some of the most important formation happens long before engagement. The resources are organized by life stage: childhood and family, youth guidance, engagement and courtship, marriage preparation, early marriage (mystagogy), and marriage mentoring. Parents, youth ministers, married couples, and seminarians will all find resources designed for their specific stage.

The data is used only in aggregate to identify patterns, never to identify or discuss individual cases. All case details are kept strictly confidential in accordance with Canon Law and tribunal protocols. When the site refers to patterns or statistics, these are drawn from anonymized, aggregate observations across the full body of cases reviewed over 18 years. No individual has ever been or will ever be identified.

Absolutely. Many parishes and dioceses use the Five Pillars Workbook, 25 Conversations Guide, and Forever Test as supplements to their existing Pre-Cana or marriage preparation programs. These resources are designed to complement, not replace, parish programs. For bulk licensing or parish partnership inquiries, please visit the contact page.

Yes, completely free. No email required, no credit card, no hidden fees, no upsell at the end. The test is built on the same Canon Law framework used in actual tribunal work, and it was made free because every couple deserves to know where they stand before their wedding day. You can take it right now without providing any personal information at all.

The test evaluates your readiness across the five pillars that Canon Law requires for valid matrimonial consent: Freedom (is your consent given freely, without pressure?), Understanding (do you truly understand what Catholic marriage is?), Permanence (are you genuinely committed to a lifelong union?), Fidelity (are you fully committed to exclusive faithfulness?), and Openness to Children (are you genuinely open to children as integral to marriage?).

These are the same pillars evaluated in every marriage tribunal case. The test gives you a score for each pillar, an overall readiness assessment, and specific guidance on any gaps identified.

That is actually one of the most valuable outcomes. It means you now know exactly where the formation gaps are, and you have the opportunity to address them before your wedding day rather than discovering them years later in a tribunal proceeding.

Nobody enters a tribunal and says, "We knew from the start this would fail." In every case, the couple believed they were ready. The Forever Test exists to make sure that belief is grounded in reality. The test results include specific next steps and free resources for each gap identified. Better to know now.

No. The Forever Test does not store your responses or transmit them to Catholic Marriage Life or any third party. Your answers are processed in real time during the AI conversation and are not retained afterward. The test is completely private. Nobody will see your answers or your score unless you choose to share them.

The test can be taken individually or together. Taking it individually first and then comparing results can be especially revealing, as it often surfaces areas where the two of you have different assumptions or levels of understanding. However, taking it together as a guided conversation is also valuable. There is no wrong approach. What matters is that the responses are honest.

Most online marriage quizzes are based on personality types, communication styles, or pop psychology frameworks. They measure compatibility. The Forever Test measures something fundamentally different: whether the conditions for valid matrimonial consent are present. It uses the same Canon Law criteria applied in actual tribunal proceedings, delivered through an AI-guided conversation rather than a checkbox survey. It does not ask whether you are a good match. It asks whether you understand what you are consenting to.

Canon Law requires five elements for matrimonial consent to be valid:

1. Freedom means the consent is given without coercion, fear, or external pressure. 2. Understanding means both spouses grasp what marriage actually is under Catholic teaching, not just the ceremony but the sacramental reality. 3. Permanence means both intend a lifelong union without reservation or mental exit strategy. 4. Fidelity means both intend exclusive commitment to one another, including emotional fidelity. 5. Openness to Children means both accept the possibility of children as integral to marriage.

When any of these pillars is absent or defective at the time of the wedding, the validity of the marriage may be in question. These are the specific elements evaluated in every tribunal case.

Pre-Cana programs typically focus on practical skills: communication, finances, conflict resolution, and sometimes Natural Family Planning. These are important. But they do not directly address the five pillars that Canon Law requires for valid consent.

A couple can have excellent communication skills and still lack a genuine understanding of permanence. They can manage money well and still harbor undisclosed disagreements about openness to children. The Five Pillars framework addresses the foundational issues that determine whether consent is valid in the first place. It is designed to supplement Pre-Cana, not replace it.

The framework is drawn directly from Canon Law and from patterns observed across 1,847 marriage tribunal cases over 18 years. The five elements, freedom, understanding, permanence, fidelity, and openness to children, are not new. They are established requirements for valid matrimonial consent under Church law. What this ministry has done is organize them into an accessible, diagnostic framework that couples can use to evaluate their own readiness before the wedding day, rather than having them evaluated by a tribunal after a marriage has failed.

Catholic Marriage Life offers several free resources: The Forever Test, a free Canon Law diagnostic requiring no email. The Five Pillars Workbook, a self-guided formation tool covering all five pillars with reflection questions and couple exercises. 25 Conversations Before Marriage, structured discussion starters drawn from tribunal data. The Wedding Week Guide, a day-by-day spiritual preparation framework for the final week before your wedding. And a growing library of free articles on marriage formation, Canon Law, and family life.

It depends on the resource. The Forever Test requires no email at all, you can start immediately. The articles are freely accessible on the site. The downloadable PDFs (Five Pillars Workbook, 25 Conversations Guide, Wedding Week Guide) do require an email address. When you provide your email for a download, you will be added to the weekly newsletter. Every email includes an unsubscribe link, and you can opt out at any time.

The best starting point depends on where you are. If you are engaged or considering marriage, take the Forever Test. It is free and takes about 5 minutes. If you are a parent, start with the Parent's Guide to Raising Marriage-Ready Children. If you are already married, the 25 Conversations workbook can help you strengthen your foundation. If you are involved in parish ministry, the Five Pillars Workbook is designed to supplement existing programs. All of these are free.

The Marriage Formation Course is a 12-module guided program that takes couples through the Five Pillars framework in depth. Each cohort is limited to 30 couples. The course includes video instruction, a companion workbook, couple exercises, and cohort-based accountability. The cost is $97 per couple.

The course provides guided implementation of the same frameworks available in the free workbooks. The difference is structure, accountability, feedback, and the opportunity to earn a Certificate of Formation.

Each application is reviewed to ensure the program is the right fit. This is not about exclusivity. It is about ensuring that every couple in the cohort is positioned to benefit from the material and contribute to the group dynamic. Couples who are not accepted are directed to the free resources, which contain the same core knowledge. Nobody is turned away from the information. The course simply adds a structured, guided experience on top of it.

No. The Certificate of Formation is awarded to couples who demonstrate genuine understanding of the five pillars and show evidence of having engaged seriously with the material. Simply paying for the course does not earn the certificate. This is deliberate. The certificate should mean something real, both to the couple who earns it and to the parish or diocese that may reference it.

A full refund is available if requested within 14 days of payment and before completing the first 3 modules. A partial refund (50%) may be issued at our discretion after 3 modules. No refunds are available after the course is fully completed. Full details are available on the refund policy page.

A private consultation is appropriate when your situation requires individual attention that cannot be addressed through general resources. Common reasons include: complex marriage preparation situations (mixed-faith marriages, previous marriages, canonical impediments), annulment questions, convalidation guidance, or specific Canon Law questions that require a knowledgeable, individual response.

If your question can be answered by the free resources or the Formation Course, those are better starting points. The consultation service exists for situations that genuinely require individual guidance.

Each 90-minute consultation is $297. This includes the session itself, conducted via video call, and a written summary of the guidance provided. Payment is collected only after an intake review and scheduling confirmation. No payment is required to submit the intake form.

Yes. Every consultation begins with a brief intake form. This allows an assessment of whether a consultation is the right next step for your situation. Some inquiries may be better served by the free resources, the Formation Course, or a referral to a local diocese. Honest assessment of fit is part of the process, not a barrier to access. If a consultation is not the right fit, alternative recommendations will be provided.