Pillar I: Clarity
Move past rehearsed catechism answers to uncover your true operative understanding of permanence, sexuality, and indissolubility before facing marital trials.
A Tribunal Judge's Essential Manual
Marry With Examined Consent, Not Just Wedding Day Certainty.
The clinical precision of a twenty-year marriage tribunal judge meets the compassionate heart of a pastor to examine what standard preparation leaves unasked.
Foreword by Most Rev. Anthony Okonkwo Gbuji, JCD
Bishop Emeritus of Enugu; Founder, Canon Law Society of Nigeria
Bishop Emeritus of Enugu; Founder, Canon Law Society of Nigeria
The Reality of the Bench
The Questions Tribunals Ask After Collapse Are the Very Questions No One Asked Before the Altar.
A broken engagement causes temporary grief. An invalid or collapsed marriage causes a lifetime of spiritual, emotional, and relational wreckage.
Couples regularly invest months of energy and significant financial resources planning an immaculate wedding day. They coordinate reception venues, assemble bridal trains, complete traditional bride-price negotiations, and print programs. Yet many walk down the aisle without examining whether the interior consent they are about to exchange actually meets the canonical threshold of Holy Matrimony.
"Matrimonium facit partium consensus: The consent of the parties makes marriage; no human power can supply this consent." (Code of Canon Law, Canon 1057 §1)
In twenty years serving on the tribunal bench, one painful pattern repeats across hundreds of case files: the people who come before us are rarely dishonest or malicious. They were simply certain without being examined. They mistook the emotional high of courtship and family approval for genuine, capable, and uncoerced consent.
Pre-Cana prepares you for the ceremony. This manual prepares you for the consent.
The Five Pillars System
A Structured Diagnostic of Matrimonial Consent
Translated directly from the Code of Canon Law into an actionable, pastoral discernment roadmap.
Pillar II: Freedom
Apply the Relief-or-Disappointment Test to discern whether your yes is genuinely yours, or if completed bride-prices, pregnancy, or family expectations have silently removed your freedom to say no.
Pillar III: Capacity
Distinguish normal human immaturity from canonical incapacity. Learn why discovering that "not yet" is your honest answer protects your future rather than destroys it.
Pillar IV: Intention
Complete the One Thing Exercise to surface private mental reservations, career-based child deferrals, or hidden conditions before speaking unconditional vows.
Pillar V: Unity
Complete the Full Consent-Alignment Exercise across eight real-life domains, ensuring you and your partner are consenting to the exact same marriage.
Who This Manual Serves
Built for Discernment, Formatted for Pastoral Care
For Engaged and Discerning Couples
- Work through the Seven Conversations that couples most reliably skip before the altar.
- Distinguish workable relationship gaps from serious canonical defects on paper.
- Arrive at your wedding day with examined conviction, deep peace, and zero unsaid reservations.
For Priests, Deacons, and Formators
- Deploy a structured, seven-session pastoral preparation arc based on the Code of Canon Law.
- Utilize Appendix A and the Canonical Glossary for pre-marital scrutiny and impediment checks.
- Bridge the gap between formal legal criteria and warm, Christ-centered pastoral guidance.
Pastoral Authority
Commended by Bishops, Judges, and Formators
"Father Chime has written a book that closes a quiet gap in the pastoral life of the Church. The criteria we apply in tribunals after a marriage has failed have not been placed, in this clear and structured a way, in the hands of couples before the wedding. With this book, they are."
"The Catholic Church in Africa carries a particular vocation to the family, and Father Chime carries that vocation here. Twenty years of tribunal experience in Enugu have produced not a treatise but a pastoral instrument. I commend the work."
"Nowadays, couples rush to the altar to say 'I do' without knowing the full meaning of the phrase. Before you know it, they rush out and begin to sing: 'I do not do again.' This book explains in simple terms what couples must know. It is also a handout for tribunal officials."
"The strongest move in this book is the gap-and-defect distinction Father Chime sustains throughout. It is the distinction working canonists draw daily but rarely articulate for non-specialist readers. Here it is, with canonical precision intact."
Available Editions
Secure Your Copy for Marriage Discernment
Global delivery available across all formats. Choose the edition that fits your discernment path.
Instant Digital
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eBook Edition
Instant digital download formatted for Kobo, Kindle apps, tablets, and phones.
$14.99
Couples Edition
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Paperback Study
Complete 345-page softcover manual with wide margins designed for written couple exercises.
$27.99
Keepsake & Clergy
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Hardcover Library
Durable case laminate hardcover built for clergy reference, parish libraries, and keepsakes.
$44.99
Clear Answers & Pastoral Guidance
Frequently Asked Questions
Pastoral and canonical clarity for engaged couples, pastors, and marriage formators.
Who should read this book: engaged couples or parish formators?
Both. The book is structured with a dual purpose. For engaged couples and newlyweds, it provides the discernment rubrics and diagnostic questions needed to examine consent before the altar. For priests, deacons, counselors, and sponsor couples, it serves as a canonical field guide and curriculum for pre-marital inquiries and Pre-Cana sessions.
How does this manual differ from standard diocesan Pre-Cana programs?
Standard parish courses often emphasize practical communication, budgeting, and ceremony planning. While necessary, they frequently leave canonical consent unexamined. This work translates twenty years of tribunal bench jurisprudence into accessible language, addressing the five pillars of valid consent (Canons 1055 to 1107) so hidden defects and reservations surface before vows are made.
Can this book assist couples preparing for convalidation?
Yes. Catholics who entered a civil or non-canonical union and are now preparing to validate their marriage in the Church will find Chapter 7 and the Five Pillars diagnostic helpful for examining their mutual consent and entering into a true sacramental covenant.
Which format is best for couple study versus parish reference?
The Paperback Study Edition is designed specifically for couples, featuring wide margins and reflection spaces for the Seven Conversations and written alignment exercises. The Hardcover Edition is built as a permanent library reference for rectory offices and counseling desks, while the eBook Edition offers instant delivery on phones, tablets, or e-readers.
Step to the Altar with Examined Peace
Do not leave the validity and spiritual foundation of your marriage to chance. Secure your copy today on Kobo or Lulu.
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